Nature & Nuture: Birds, Frogs, Bugs & Cousins Bonding in the Renosterveld

Entering Bartholemeu’s Klip guest farm

For this Heritage Day long weekend, we met up with The Husband’s parents, his brother, his brother’s wife and their four kids, about 100km out of Cape Town at Bartholomeus Klip, a guest farm in the Elandsberg. From being an only child, The Princess was suddenly surrounded by her four cousins: Tommy (9), Adam (7) , Jack (5)  and Emma (1).

Our reservation included a game drive into the Renosterveld Reserve. I had contemplated staying behind with The Princess out of fear of the cold but the sun had emerged and I decided that the experience would be fun for her with all her cousins, so we went along. (The Husband was cycling, of course).

Because the Renosterveld is not exactly The Kruger Park, I assumed we’d cruise around in the game drive vehicle for fifteen minutes, stop for coffee and head back to the house. I had forgotten one critical thing, however: my brother-in-law and father-in-law are serious birders. And I mean serious. For example, my brother-in-law has ticked off so many birds on his life list (know as “lifers” in the birding world) that he has now taken to following frogs around with a torch in the dead of the night. This pastime is known as “frogging”, I’m told there are apparently other people out there who share this passion, hence the existence of an official name for the pursuit of frogs.

The Princess’ two oldest cousins, Thomas and Adam are following in their father’s footsteps, having developed a keen interest in birds and frogs. This is perhaps as much nature as it is nurture because ever since Adam has been old enough to walk, he has been a lover and collector of creepy crawlies. Before the game drive, he announced that we may be lucky enough to encounter a “bugalore”. I laughed when he said that and wanted to know if that meant an encounter with bugs galore. But I’ve actually just Googled the term because there’s an excellent chance my seven year old nephew was referring to a rare species of bug or bird that I have never heard of. (Google says not, but it was worth checking).

On board for the game drive we therefore had five very enthusiastic naturalists: the game ranger, my father-in-law, my brother-in-law and my two nephews. And then we had the girls who came for the coffee and the cookies: my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, myself, The Princess and one year Emma, plus her five year old brother, Jack. Emma responded to the thrill of the game drive by promptly falling asleep in her mother’s arms and Jack responded by eating as many fruit nuggets as he possibly could.

The highlight of the drive was the game ranger’s discovery of a teeny, tiny, incy, wincy toad. And when I say teeny tiny, I mean only slightly bigger than a man’s thumbnail.  For someone whose world is not rocked by frogs, the best part was my brother-in-law’s reaction. He was grinning from ear to ear and announced that his “cup was now full”. You’d have sworn we’d just seen a leopard on the kill.

The naturalists on all fours photographing their tiny toad (a speck on the rock)

On the off chance that anyone who reads this blog is dying to know what type of toad it was, the answer is, “we don’t know.” This fact slowly revealed itself in the coming days as my brother-in-law made contact with the Frogging Mothership by which I mean that he telephoned fellow froggers. (Yes, other people who chase frogs around in the night are officially known as “froggers”). The one, slightly more experience frogger, who has been pursuing frogs for slightly longer than my brother-in-law was stumped as to how that particular teeny, tiny frog could be found in the Renosterveld Reserve. (I guess when you’re that size, the idea that you hopped out of your normal territory is basically impossible). The other frogger – whom I gather enjoys a more elevated status in the froggers’ food chain – declared that the most likely explanation was actually quite simple: it was probably the young, baby toad of a fairly common species of toad.

Such is life sometimes, for a frogging novice.

The next day, anyone who couldn’t explain the difference between a frog and a toad, wisely elected to stay home during the game drive. (When I had asked The Mother-in-Law the day before, what the difference was, she looked at me incredulously and replied: “WHO knows?”)

But exciting things were in store for us as it was, Adam, our junior naturalist’s seventh birthday. He’d requested nothing short of the following activities to celebrate his coming of age: a treasure hunt, a disco and a general knowledge quiz. He’d apparently hand-picked the teams for the quiz and I was honoured to discover that I’d been included as a member of his team. The Husband had not enjoyed such favour from the birthday boy and I couldn’t help teasing him as a result. He responded by saying that Adam had chosen me for my looks rather than my brains. (I took that as a compliment.) Then we learned that Adam had selected his team members based on “wanting to win”. I looked smugly at The Husband. And then we learned that Adam had requested that the questions be mostly about nature. The Husband raised an eyebrow at me… Okay, I was definitely going to be the cheerleader.

Still, I was flattered that Adam had thought I could help.

Unfortunately, the birthday boy and his team, including my brother-in-law, lost the quiz. However, my brother-in-law was determined to make his son’s birthday a memorable one. He had been searching for an apparently rare species of frog for some time, known as the Cape Rain Frog, and that night, he returned from his frog hunting victorious, Cape Rain Frog in hand.

When I laid eyes on that frog, I suddenly understood The Frog Prince. There are plenty of ugly animals that the young maiden in the story could have been made to kiss in order to prove that she was not shallow or superficial. But none so ugly as this dude:

A trapped prince or a frigging ugly amphibian?

Finally, a big thanks to the parents in law for a wonderful weekend where The Princess was able to bond with her four cousins. She is no longer used to bathing alone. Climbing in the bath this evening, she looked around expectantly and said “boys? boys?” Fortunately there are several more years before we have to start worrying about that…

Too Many Dudes, Dude.

The Princess and I are currently in Cape Town, staying with The Brother-in-law, The Sister-in-law and their one, two, three, FOUR (adorable) kids. Just after The Princess has had her very first bath with her six month old cousin, The Sister-in-Law casually asks if I’d mind babysitting whilst she and The Brother-in-law attend a parent teachers evening at their eight year old’s school. Now, we have every intention of giving The Princess a baby brother or sister one day, so I should be perfectly capable of sticking a dummy into the mouth of my beautiful niece, in the very unlikely event that she wakes up and cries. Right?

Right.

It’s 7:20pm – a full hour since I started giving The Princess her bedtime bottle – and she is still writhing in my arms, refusing to sleep. It’s been a rough afternoon visiting an unwell Father Figure and I am not in the mood for a fight with an eleven month old.

Enter The Princess’ crying six month old cousin.

No problem.

The Princess and I will just go next door for a dummy dash.

We stand next to the cot and a pair of large blue eyes stares up at eyes. This does not look like a baby in the throes of a deep slumber, merely in need of a dummy but I try anyway.

She spits.

I try again.

She spits and screams.

I try again.

Now she’s upset. And really screaming. Very, very loudly.

I panic. In the last day and a half I’ve spent with this little angel, I’ve never heard her cry. But now she is P*SSED off. She’s woken up in the middle of the night and she’s got some stranger who is NOT her mommy trying to shove her dummy in her mouth. Not happy.

So I pick her up and sink into the feeding chair next to her cot – The Princess in one arm and her cousin in the other. The Princess is smiling sweetly at her crying cousin and even reaching across to her as if to console her. It’s adorable but it’s not helping at all. Her cousin is going BALLISTIC now.

As my eight-year old nephew is roused from his sleep and walks in, offering to help, I realise I have failed dismally trying to take care of two small children and I ask him to please call his baby sister’s live-in nanny. Thank God for her. She’s in the bath but she’ll come as soon as possible.

Enter my darling little niece’s nanny and she stops crying immediately.

Phew.

I return to The Princess’ room and at once, the sweet, consoling older cousin version of her is gone and I am left with a screaming eleven month old, nearly an hour into her bed-time, refusing to go to sleep.

Finally, after what seems like years, but is “only” one hour forty minutes, I put The Princess down. She stirs and almost sees me standing near her cot, but she somehow doesn’t see me and she seems to roll over and at least attempt sleep. This leaves me on all fours, hiding behind the darkened side of her camp cot as opposed to the see-through, net side, trying to crawl silently to the door where freedom awaits…

I manage to make it out, collapse onto my bed and pick up my phone to read a mail just in from The Sister, newly settled in NYC. She’s forwarded me her party invite for this weekend:

Subject: heads up for Friday night
I’m having a few friends over to Le Parker Meridien near 56th and 6th Ave, 7pm – 10pm.
Heated rooftop pool + fun little suite. Cocktails and swimming etc.
Please come and bring a girl-friend. We have TOO MANY DUDES.

Night Nurses and Bad Mommies

The Husband knows me well. He knows how grumpy I get when I am sleep deprived. For this reason, he wanted to arrange a night nurse well before The Princess’ birth. I resisted. I told him I would manage. I said, “So what if I don’t sleep all night? I have help during the day and I don’t have a job to go to, I’ll sleep during the day.” He begged me to at least get the names and numbers of night nurses before the birth. I refused. And so he got onto it himself while we were in the hospital. He asked around and it turned out that one of the Park Lane nurses worked as a night nurse during her off days. She gave him her number. Still, I resisted. We went home with The Princess and I think I lasted one and a half nights. At 3am on the second night, both delirious with fatigue, emotions and, for me, insomnia and hormones, we had a huge blow-up. So when The Husband said, “NOW, can we get a night nurse?” I relented.

Courtesy of the luxury of having a night nurse, we did “date night” one night some weeks later. I squeezed myself into my jeans, my baby belly bulging over the waistband. I then squashed my swollen feet into a pair of agonisingly tight heels and off we went to a restaurant 250m from home. The restaurant was deserted but for a few drinkers. The hostess was dressed in a white mini-skirt that she couldn’t quite pull off. She was overly obliging, she desperately needed to have her roots done and the food was abominable. Nonetheless, we had an amazing time. It was on this night that we discussed how long we were going to employ a night nurse for. I was thinking three, maybe four month tops, when The Husband announced that he would be prepared to fork out for a night nurse for a year. One year? It sounded totally insane. It was around May 2011 at the time and a night nurse for one year would mean having someone until the end of March 2012. The Princess would already be a year old and I imagined her practically reading to herself by then – one year seemed a lifetime away.

Now, here we are, eight and a half months later and I am as attached to Margie, our night nurse, as The Princess is. And this is despite the fact that, very soon after we met, she asked me what I weighed. I resent being asked that by grown women who buy size 13-14 pants. I know she wears children’s clothes because she told me so – somewhat smugly, if I’m not mistaken. She also asked The Mother Figure how old she was. I was hoping my mom would give her the same response she used to give The Sister and I when we were growing up – “I’m as old as the moon and as young as the stars” but instead I laughed out loud at the audacity of the question, thereby disturbing The Princess who started to cry and so everyone’s attention was diverted from the “how old” question to the baby. And of course, I refused to tell her how much I weighed.

My attachment to my night nurse is even strong enough to withstand the fact that, basically, she thinks I’m not the best mother. Here’s how I know this. We brought her to Cape Town with us last week so we’d have the evenings free to catch up with friends without disrupting The Princess’ night routine. Oh yes, and also so we could sleep all night, as we are so fortunately accustomed to doing. Margie was supposed to be off work all day, only working nights, but by 8:30 one morning, The Princess’ crying and moaning disturbed her sleep and she came downstairs looking concerned, if not a little cross. She wanted to know why The Princess wasn’t yet asleep and offered to put her down herself (because I obviously wasn’t succeeding). This is the exchange that followed:

Me: She just won’t go to sleep. I’m not a bad mother, Margie. (Smiling). (I was totally, totally kidding. I think I’m a great mother).

Total, earth shattering silence.

Me: Margie, I can see she’s exhausted, but she refuses to fall asleep. I tried for ages and ages. Seriously, I’m not a bad mother. (Still smiling).

At this stage, I was fully expecting her to say, “No, no, of course, you’re not a bad mother.” Instead, here’s what she said:

Margie: You know, Natalie, it’s not my place to rank you as a mother. That’s not what I’m employed to do.

Dead, dead silence.

I said nothing. I think I just stared at her with raised eyebrows. I was sort of paralysed somewhere between shock and amusement.

Luckily, I’m pretty thick skinned when it comes to people who look after my child while I get a full night’s sleep so I can’t say I took major offence.

Later that day, I gave Margie some proper ammunition to back up her bad mother theory. The Husband had managed to put The Princess down in the afternoon for the first time ever. He was very proud of himself and declared that we were not allowed to wake her until she woke up herself. “I want her to sleep the full time,” he said. “Sleep is good for her, right?”.

As a result we arrived at The Husband’s brother’s house about an hour late, at 4pm, for The Princess’ first meeting with her three month old cousin. The Princess’ supper time is normally between 5 and 5:30 but somehow, I was feeling super relaxed, we were on holiday and I just went into some sort of zone where baby chores don’t exist.

When we got back from our late tea date, I dashed straight to Woolworths to shop for a dinner party we were hosting that night, while Margie and The Husband bathed The Princess. I was back by about 6:30 and as I walked in the door, The Husband shouted down, slightly annoyed: “Has she had supper?”

I paused… slowly re-entering the zone…Hmmm….Food…The Princess…5pm…supper time…

Crap!

I forgot to feed her!

Bad, bad, bad mother!

Of course, Margie had noticed that there was something remiss during bath time and wanted to know if she had eaten, given the fact that feeding her would have been her useless mother’s responsibility.

Whilst frantically preparing The Princess’ supper, I tried to make light of my oversight by reminding Margie and The Husband, that very often The Princess refused to eat more than one or two tiny mouthfuls of supper anyway. But of course, Murphy’s Law, on this particular evening, when offered food at 6:45, The Princess ate like a ravenous wild animal. At one stage, she even grabbed the spoon out of my hand because I wasn’t shoveling the food into her little mouth quickly enough.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad mother!

Now, we’re spending eleven nights in Hermanus without Margie. I am viewing this as training for when her time with us comes to an end on 1 February next year. So far, we’ve sort of survived three nights. The first night was a very rude awakening to night-time parenting. The Princess woke up at midnight for some reason and just wouldn’t go back to sleep until 3:30. We walked, we rocked, we sang, we shushed. We tried everything. We would’ve dosed her with Calpol but we recently discovered that Calpol is like Espresso for her – it totally gives her a buzz. Luckily, the past two nights have only involved a few dummy dashes and she’s slept like a little angel.

Holding thumbs for the next eight nights until we’re re-united with Margie for one more blissful month of sleeping all night…

A Clockwork Orange Sends Diego Back to Montevideo

By Saturday evening I decided that I was supporting whichever football team was winning.

This was after I rooted for Brazil on Friday, only to see them get wiped out by The Netherlands. Later that day, I screamed my head off for Ghana but then they were beaten by cheating Uruguay. The next day, I draped myself in an Argentinian flag and cheered for the South Americans LIVE at the Greenpoint stadium, only to see them be thumped by the Germans.

Clearly, I was backing the wrong horses here. So tonight, when the men in orange starting leading 2-1 against Uruguay, I decided I had better back them. It wasn't easy. I mean, I know Hermes' signature colour is the same revolting, tangerine hue as the Dutch team's outfits, but still… Someone needs to tell them that fair-skinned men look mildly jaundiced in orange…Plus, there are all of their fans who have to be seen in public in bright orange – a colour which should really be reserved for traffic cones and car guards on night shift. As if this isn't bad enough, Dutch fans are expected to mix their orange garb with the red, white and blue of the Dutch flag – not the best combo. One solution for fans is to simply wear the wackiest kit ever. Like this dude who was celebrating Friday afternoon's victory:

The crazy thing is that he's not even Dutch. Nope, he's about as South African as droe wors, but something inspired him to back the boys in orange and he was running around Caveau in Cape Town in his tangerine dungarees, looking might chuffed with his team's performance.

On the bright side, the Dutch team exacted revenge on Uruguay on behalf of Bafana Bafana, as well as on behalf of Ghana, so I am genuinely thrilled about that. And judging by some of the Facebook posts that I've just seen, we now have a nation in mourning. And I don't mean Uruguay – I mean a nation full of South African women who would rather not see Diego Forlan return to his homeland. One can see why. I mean, clearly, he's not just a pretty face – he can actually kick the ball into the little box quite regularly.

Sadly, though, his World Cup glory is over and he is to return to his hair-dressing business in Montevideo. At least the force behind Bafana Bafana's defeat did some good by providing SA women with some eye candy. Hell, old Diego is probably a rare exception and is possibly one of the few fair-skinned men on the planet who could look good in orange…

Poetry & Babyccinos in Cape Town

There's no denying it: Cape Town spots have character. And style. And creativity. And charm. And they're chic and sophisticated with a touch of art. I wouldn't necessarily have said that Cape Town places are poetic, but then I came across this counter coffee-shop-cum-deli opposite Cavendish yesterday:

No wonder Capetonians are so chilled out. I mean, who wouldn't like a little bit of TS Eliot with their morning latte? 

Even the babyccinos are served in style, here in the Southern Suburbs. They come on little heart-shaped, over-sized saucers. From mommy to toddler, with love:

But back to TS Eliot. I absolutely love the "coffee spoons" passage from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock about life, longevity, reflection, regret and banal, everyday indulgences:

For I have known them all already, known them all,
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

If you'd like to see the whole poem (just as readable as this fabulous extract), click on this link:

http://www.poetry-online.org/eliot_the_love_song_j_alfred_prufrock.htm

I'm off to go raid my suitcase for every red, yellow, green and black item in it. I'm willing to go out in public looking like a Rastafarian gone wrong. Only because I want Ghana to slaughter the Uruguayans and their blonde nancy boy, Diego Forlan, tonight. That would be poetic justice.

NYR Countdown


I’ve always firmly believed that actioning one’s NYR’s (New Year’s Resolutions) on 1 January is just irresponsible. Probably mainly because NYR No. 1 – i.e. Getting in Shape – on holiday, is just no fun. Although my holiday is not quite over, the fat lady is starting to sing. (‘Scuse the pun). This hit me when we landed on SA soil in Cape Town yesterday morning. And so I decided that the thing to do was to walk up Lion’s Head – being in Cape Town and intending to Get in Shape and all.

The vibe, the view, everything, was so invigorating that I started lamenting the fact that if only I lived in Cape Town I’d do this every day! Imagine! That was before The Husband reminded me that in four and half years of residing in Cape Town, I’d walked up Lion’s Head exactly once.

Oh ja. I remember now.

My No. 1 NYR became even more real when there turned out to be two models amongst our Lion’s Head group. And I don’t mean gorgeous girls who really just should have been models – I mean actual, professional schmodels. One of whom I learned is on a diet. She’d already done a round trip on foot from Vredehoek to Loop Street as a warm-up that morning and was now ascending Lion’s Head at a vicious pace. In a long-sleeved black fleece in the midday sun.

A model as my role-model? Nah, probably unhealthy and will only result in psychological trauma. Scrap that.

List of NYR’s:

1. Get in shape/ lost weight/ achieve goal weight etc etc

2. Start a business

3. Master my Mac

4. Become fluentish in Italian

5. Develop sufficient skill (and confidence) to participate in social tennis

6. Read the paper – get a Business Day subscription (and not just for the Wanted mag)

7. Quit Coke Lite

Think I’ll stop there. Problem is I’ve been Lost In Translation-style awake since 2am this morning. (Last night’s flight from Buenos Aires was Concorde-like quick – 7 hours. Hardly enough time for dinner, a movie and a decent kip.)

What to do when one is wide-eyed at 5am? I wonder if the gym’s open yet? Nope – that won’t work – middle of night snack not yet digested.

Would have begun eating plan but then realised today’s Tuesday and you can’t start a diet on a Tuesday. Duh!

Cape Town International

I’ve always reckoned that a good rule of thumb on 'planes is that if your neighbour hasn’t proved to be Chatty Pants in the first ten minutes, then you’re home free. A couple of weeks ago, though, I realised that I’m going to need to modify this theory on the free booze flights (the few that still exist). Two mini bottles of Chenin Blanc down, my 60-something neighbour decided it was time we met, JUST as we were preparing to land. By this stage all my leave-me-the-eff-alone-accessories had been dutifully packed away (laptop, I-pod, book) and I was left with little option but to speak back.

He was an ex-Joburger who’d emigrated to CT and was a die hard Kaapener my whole life before converting to Jozi-ism. Invariably, we had the “why-Cape-Town-is-so-much-better-than-Joburg” debate. My favourite. No, really. In the same way as Jews for Jesus are even more fervent than their reborn counter-parts, I am constantly shooting my mouth off about how FAN-tastic Joburg is.

Anyhoo, after old Chenin Blanc had run through all the obvious CT selling points (wine, mountains, wine, the new stadium and wine), he launched into his promotional pitch for the new airport. “It’s bigger, better, faster, classier, sharper, hotter, cooler, hipper, better,” etc, etc.

Great,” I thought, a week later. Because, you see, yesterday, I walked Cavendish square STUKKEND for a Christmas present for my darling husband – aka “the-man-who-has-everything-or-if-he-doesn’t-he’ll-buy-it”. (This characteristic of his is fantastic when you need any make or shape of electronic device – pronto, but it’s less fun when you need to buy him a present.) However, given old Chenin’s sales pitch on the super new, super fab airport, I figured I’d simply pick up something there. So NOT. Unless you are looking for a wooden Giraffe carving from not one but TWO curio stores (out of a total of about 8 shops), do not leave your holiday shopping to the last minute. Needless to say, my husband cannot be left cooped up in a security enclosed retail space without being absolutely compelled to contribute to consumer spending. Bless him. Even under the utterly miserable retail conditions in Cape Town’s new international airport, he managed to get some gadgets. (All I can do now is hi-jack his goods and wrap them up as his Christmas gift).

On the bright side, though, Cape Town really has made airport security a mega-priority. I was lucky enough to experience this first hand when I witnessed three uniformed policemen trying to sweet-talk the Premier lounge receptionist into smuggling out free drinks for them. But she was hardcore and she wasn’t having any of it. “Can you see the cameras?” she responded, wagging her finger at them. “There they are”.

Nice one, officers.

Failing in that little endeavour, the Kaap se Coppers decided to amuse themselves in other ways. I happened to be standing at the reception desk at the time.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” the one asked.

Mentally rolling my eyes, I replied that I didn’t think so as I tried to stay on the right side of the law. (I don’t think he saw the irony).

Naai, man,” he said, “aren’t you on the TV?”

Much better, dude.
For that you can have a celebrity smile.

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